The Apostle Paul continues his reasoning that he started in Chapter 14 on the way and manner to deal with those who were deemed to be weak in faith, particularly those who were unable to shake off the yoke of Judaism, of observance of days and food restriction. Gentile believers who did not grow up with such strict observances, looked down on the Christian Jews, since Christ now allowed these things in the New Testament. The Christian Jews looked down on the Gentile Christians and felt that they were carnal because they did not observe some of the holy days as taught in the OT. Both groups were judging and disputing with one another. Paul therefore wrote to instruct them. We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. (Rom 15:1)
“To bear” means “to endure patiently” and “to not contend with”. The reason that the strong did not bear with the weak was self gratification. Therefore Paul said, “we (including himself) ought not to please ourselves”.
Instead of pleasing self, Paul exhorted the contrary in v2 Let every one of us please his neighbour… This is not to indulge him in things injurious or against the teaching of the Bible, but that which would promote his welfare, hence the qualification- for his good to edification. It must be for his good and not for his detriment. Just like a mother who does not give in to the whining of a spoilt child for more chocolates to please him, we must likewise deny our neighbour’s request if it is not going to do him good. The guideline is that it must contribute to his edification, i.e. which will build him up in the faith.
The injunction is clear: Everyone of us, none is excluded. We are to deny self and not be like those who are lovers of self; to love our neighbour as ourselves and therefore to please him for his good and edification.
Paul further points us to an excellent example in, v3 For even Christ pleased not himself…. What better example than that of Christ? He, being infinitely rich, made himself of no reputation and became poor that we through his poverty might become rich. Why so? Because He pleased not Himself. He saw our greatest need and did us greatest good – by dying on the cross to save our souls. Can anyone of us ever complain that we have made too great a sacrifice to please others? Look to Christ and learn of Him!
Whilst we do not have Jewish brethren that we need to bear with, yet the principle of not pleasing self (v1) but pleasing one another (v2) holds true eternally because the principle includes our neighbour. As Christians we are instructed thus: “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Php 2:4).
How we need to take heed to this injunction today. It will transform our lives in the family, in the society, in school, at the work place and in the church.
Many a problem arises because we are selfish and we seek only to please ourselves and regard not others and their needs. Whilst it is true that God blesses us with all things to enjoy, sometimes we indulge in them to the extent that we become a very self-centered people. O that we will die daily to self! That we will step out of our selfishness and regard the welfare of others around us, for therein is the love of God manifested in us.
It is in our sinful nature to want to please self.
We see such scenario at home too – toys on floor, cups around the house, etc. Whenever there is a delicious dish, the ‘self-pleaser’ would be the first to devour it without regard for others. He must be the first to enjoy a new game, the first to read a new book.
We see the same repeated in schools - students take their time to hand up their assignments, letters and forms; talk in class and disrupt their classmates; cut queue; litter; mess up toilets with used toilet paper strewn everywhere; defy rules on proper school attire, shirk responsibility in a group project; skip CCAs, etc. Indeed students today are a fulfillment of Bible prophecy in 2Ti 3:2, “For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy”.
We see this in the workplace - the pantry’s food and beverages and company stationery disappear as soon as they are replenished; when spills are left unattended; photocopiers and printers are used for personal matters; when power is abused and responsibilities shirked. O that God would give us greater self-denial!
We see this in the society at large; - when people swamp the entrance of buses and MRT trains to get in first; when old folks, pregnant women, and those with baby in arms are left standing; when neighbours “share” their karaoke music; when rubbish is left in public places; when people smoke in non-smoking areas; when plates at a buffet are filled to the brim with our favourite food. How ugly is human nature! How we love to please self!
Have we ever made a mess (sometimes unintentionally) in the fellowship hall or toilets or certain rooms in the church? We so please ourselves and would not so much as lift a finger but conveniently leave it to the cleaner and those on duty to clean up after us. Lights and air-con are left on when no one is in a room; cars are inconsiderately parked in the heavy vehicle parking space; rubbish left on the pews or racks; hymn books not placed back where they belong; rubbish bins overflowing during lunch time without thought of replacing a new trash bag (after all, the person on duty will do it, we think); vehicles left double parked without regard for someone who may be rushing off after worship service; pew warmers who choose to be served and complain of the service rather than serve. Our Saviour “came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Mt 20:28)
How we please ourselves and not others! May God forgive us and teach us to learn of Christ. Let us begin to please not ourselves, but to please our neighbours, and in so doing we will please God.