30 March 2008 - Rev Dr Quek Suan Yew
WRONGFUL ANGER
Anger is not a sinful emotion as it was part of God's creative act when He first made man in His own image. But because we are sinners, more often than not, our anger stems from a sinful cause. Therefore it is common for people such as secular psychologists including some religions which teach that anger is always wrong. Concrete steps have been employed to erase anger completely from a person's emotional make-up. These steps include meditation, mind control and hypnotism. No matter how man may try he will not be able to get rid of anger completely. It is a foolish attempt on man's part to tamper with what God has already built into all mankind at the time of God's creation.
The only way to resolve this wrongful anger is not to erase it from man for that is impossible, but to keep this anger under control. The question is how to keep it under control? As Christians we have the ability or power to keep all our emotions under control with the help of the Holy Spirit. This experience is known as being led by the Spirit of God. We are no longer under the bondage of any sin because Christ has saved us from the bondage of sins. We are no longer slaves to sin. We do have to come under the power of any sin.
There are three biblical steps we can take to keep wrongful anger in check. The first step is not to provoke, and not get ourselves easily provoked by harsh words. Proverbs 15:1 , "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." A soft answer, which would include a gentle and mild reply to any situation, will quickly turn wrath away from us. The root word for "wrath" is "hot". Therefore the meaning of wrath is fierce furious and hot anger! Our gentle reply can turn this strong heated anger away! But if we do not respond gently, if we instead use grievous words it will definitely stir up anger. The word for "anger" here means "the flaring of the nostrils." This is a mild form compared to the wrath used in the first line of this verse. The grievous words used here would mean "fierce and vexatious replies." This is one of the best ways to stir up anger - that is by getting angry through harsh words. Pray for a gentle spirit so that we may keep our anger under control.
The second biblical step to control our anger is to be ever ready to forgive. Do not react immediately to a provocation. Proverbs 19:11 cautions, "The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression." The word for "discretion" means "wise or prudent." It is a very wise man who will hold back his anger or to keep his anger in check. He keeps silence and need not have to say anything and at the same time possess a forgiving heart and spirit. This would immediately give time for the errant party to think through what he has done wrong. If he repents and comes to you forgive him. In cases where names are called because we stand up for Christ or His perfect Word, do not retaliate and get angry. With discretion, and by deferring our anger it becomes our honour to pass over their name calling and snide remarks. It is a sin on their part but we keep "quiet" and continue to defend God's Word. Do not call them names in return.
The third biblical step is to bring a gift. Proverbs 21:14 says, "A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath." Could this be understood as bribery? Of course not! The one who brings the gift is the offending party who has done wrong. In the case of a bribe there is no issue of wrong done but one of procuring favour. This is sinful and God will never ask us to commit sin for He is a holy God and cannot deny Himself. Two examples come to mind in the bringing of gifts to pacify anger. The first is Jacob who gave gifts to Esau because Jacob had stolen Esau's birth right. Although it was more than 20 years ago, Jacob thought that Esau his older twin brother was still angry with him. He gave Esau gifts to appease his anger (see Genesis 32 ). The second incident involves David and Abigail. David had protected Abigail's husband's flock from brigands. When David asked Nabal for some food, he insulted David by ignoring him and called him a liar. David was very angry and wanted to kill Nabal, for his ingratitude and insults. When Abigail heard what happened she quickly brought gifts to David and his men and pleaded for mercy from David on behalf of her husband (see 1 Samuel 25 ). Again it was not a bribe but gifts of appeasement. This gift must be given in secret or else it might have the opposite effect. It might be misunderstood as showing vanity on the part of the giver and covetousness on the part of the receiver.
Wrongful anger must not be buried or ignored by some form of meditation or hypnotism. It must be consciously kept under control with God's enabling. It can be done for many hot tempered sinners have demonstrated great temperance and self control when they became Christians. Through patient study of God's Word they have been transformed from within by the power of the Word and the Holy Spirit of God. It is true for all believers for this is not the exception but the norm. Amen.