1 Timothy 3:8 , “Likewise must the deacons be grave,not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;”
The word “grave” comes from the Greek word “semnos” which means “honourable, or honest.” The verb form means “to revere or adore”. A deacon must be a man of serious judgement and inspire respect from others. He is not flippant and does not behave like a comic. It does not mean that he cannot be jovial or laugh when something humourous is mentioned or has occurred. He knows when to be serious and when to be light-hearted. He is a sober-minded person who can be trusted to carry out his duties well and will give his best to God and God’s people. He is dependable. He is responsible and fully aware of the full extent of the duties and responsibilities laid upon him as a deacon.
But the word “grave” has more than just the idea of a sober and serious-minded individual. It has to do with honesty and integrity. In Philippians 4:8 it is translated as “honest.” “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” [Emphasis added] He is an honest person. He does not deceive and does not tell lies neither for personal gain, nor to protect his reputation or even the reputation of his friend. He must not even lie in the process of defending God or His holy and perfect Word. In short he tells the truth, objective truth which is God’s word as well and subjective truth which is the general truth that stems from a transformed heart by the power of Christ’s redeeming blood. His yea is yea and his nay is nay!
The contrast of such a deacon would be one who is double-tongued. In the Greek it would literally mean that “he speaks the same thing twice.” This word is ahapax legomena (only occurrence in the whole NT). He says one thing and means another. He is deceitful. He spins tales to win arguments. He deceives to gain favours. He inflates the truth instead of speaking only the exact truth without any embellishments. For example when he visits a mission field he would exaggerate the size of the congregation members and depict a false picture of the ministry to move people’s heart into giving or supporting a ministry that he might have special interest in. Another example is when members who quarrel go to him for counsel, he would agree with both parties knowing full well that both cannot be right for they are at odds with one another! He will say the same thing twice and say it differently depending on which way the wind is blowing. Are there such people in the world? They are a dime a dozen! The saddest part is that some of these are found in the church. Worse still they are even found in the leadership!
When a church has such leaders who cannot say what they mean and mean what they say, they will inevitably sow seeds of discord and create unrest in the church. They will be the source of many problems and heartaches and break-ups in relationships and churches. Such men are basically men who would lie and sell their souls to the Devil to benefit self. Their loyalty is themselves. They care for no one but themselves. Even a fundamental and basic attribute of a genuine Christian would be devoid in their lives.
If such are made deacons, the beginning of the end of that church has come. The Bible has warned us to beware of such characters, as in Proverbs 6:16-19 , “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” When churches choose deacons who are not honest and sober but double-tongued, the price paid would be seeds of discord and destroyed lives. A deacon must have this first basic quality of honesty and sobriety a she too will be serving the King of kings like the elders hence the word “likewise.”